Wanted: College Edition
by ZombiesloveMangoes
Summary: After a mistake with the mail Claire accidentally sends out all of her college letters. Now they have come for her. How will the town react? How does Claire manage her relationships? Why is there screaming coming from Myrnin's closet? All will be answered and more in this hilarity filled story. Dedicated to NarutoRox.
1. Dirt

**Hello this is NarutoRox's dedication fanfiction so enjoy M so I hope you like it**

Claire

I set the letters on the table in a hurry to Myrnin. I was sure no one would send them in the mail, but I didn't have time to shred them since I wasn't leaving. If I didn't leave now I was going to be late. I ran through Morganville ignoring the honks of oncoming cars waving sorry and shimmied my way past people. I got there flying down the steps landing whilst panting and looked at the clock I made him install. 12:00 on the dot. "Yes!" I exclaimed and did a little dance then composed myself.

"Claire what are you doing here?" He popped his head, and only his head, from the doorway across the room.

"What do you mean?" I set my bag down and he put a hand up to stop me.

"Don't come any closer. I sent you a kext or whatever you humans call it." He put his hand down and disappeared.

"It's text and I, oh." I looked at my phone it was flashing _one missed text from Myrnin._ I opened it up and read it.

_Gonth conte niy dayts  
M_

Well he tried to send me a text. I smirked. "I couldn't have read this if I tried. And what are you hiding?" I stepped closer and he closed something like a door by the sounds of it.

"Nothing you can go." He said sternly.

"No I ran all the way here only to be told to leave. Uh I think not. Come on there has to be something I can do." He blocked the entrance and I gave up turning around. Not the wisest decision, but my only one really. I looked around at the bottles he had laying around.

"Nothing except…." He trailed off and began to rummage around and must have found it for he had made an exclamatory sound. "Here." He tossed whatever it was and by reflex I snatched it in the air. I hadn't realized what it was until I already had it in my hand.

"I am not working on this." I tossed it back.

"Yes, or go home." He tossed it back. I wasn't going to win I caught it and began to work on the foul device. It was something Myrnin had started one day whilst I was gone and never really finished. He had told me it would control vampire's predatory instincts, but the only thing it did, after a slight recalibration error, was turn me into a horny little school girl. That day I swore never to work on it again. He wasn't so good with those kind of swears. It also had some very….overwhelming side effects. Ones that left me locked in Myrnin's room alone to solve on my own. Which I was grateful for because I would have had a hell of a time trying to explain why I had ravished my boss to Shane. I worked on the device reluctantly. I had decided to name it Monica due to the effects it really had on people. I tinkered with it for a few and then set it down cracking my back. Myrnin was sitting in one of his hideous chairs and reading a book I didn't recognize. Frankly I didn't recognize hardly any of these books. Not like he read Twilight, but if I saw him reading them I would report him to Amelie. Those weren't even literature in my eyes. They were best selling firewood. He looked over the top. "Done?" I shook my head and he buried his nose in the book once again. I took that as too keep working.

"Do you have any water?" I asked. "That won't damage my kidneys." I added hurriedly. He grumbled and stood up fluidly as vampires do.

"Yes follow me." I stood up and followed him into the tiny kitchenette and he looked through the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water and I looked at it. "It hasn't been opened see." He tapped the cap. I took it and opened it. He was right it still had the seal on it. I sniffed it just in case and smelt no difference. I shrugged and downed two thirds of it right away. I sighed and I hadn't realized that he had left. I went back out into the lab and saw he was looking at Monica. The device. I might have to rename that. How about Sex Machine? Yea now that would reward me with some outstanding weird looks. Oh I got one MF for Megan Fox. There we go. I walked over and he was holding it up.

"What do you think of MF?" I was honored with a look, but I shrugged.

"Well I saw you have almost finished." He was going to operate it on himself, yet I stopped him.

"No if that did what it did last time then god knows a few minutes in time out would suffice. Do it on me." I said and he shrugged then obliged. I could feel it begin to work and a wave of calm laziness washed over me and I looked at him with a lazy smile. "Well it works." I fell to the ground not caring about where I was landing and just stared at the ceiling. "Is this what it's like to be stoned?" I slurred.

"Um Claire I don't know what that means?" He said looking down at me. I pat the floor next to me for him to join me and he just continued to stare at me. I shrugged.

"Okay be that way." I yawned and felt my eyes droop. I closed my eyes and was fast asleep within minutes. I felt myself be picked up and lay down, but that was all I remember.

xXx

I woke up god knows how long later and opened my eyes. It was dark and I was left wondering where I was. I remembered Myrnin using that device then, then, oh I don't know it hurt my head to much to think about. I swung my legs off of whatever I was laying on and the lights flickered on. Ow. I shielded my eyes and as they adjusted to the light change I saw I was in the lab still. Myrnin stood by the light switch his finger still holding it there as if he moved it would turn off. "How long was I asleep?" I rubbed my eyes and yawned again.

"Six hours." He said walking away from the light towards me. My eyes widened in shock.

"No no no." I looked over at the time. Yup six hours. It was roughly ten o' clock now. I was late. "Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked standing up grabbing all of my stuff.

"I tried. Very powerful. Do you feel sick at all, any of the...previous side effects as before?" I shook my head.

"No, but if I don't get home now there is going to be a very angry human side effect tramp though your door." I had all of my stuff packed and looked at him expectantly.

"Oh yes. Here." He opened the portal and I stepped through.

"I'll be back tomorrow unless you learn to text." I snickered and he shut the portal. Eve was sitting on the couch and jumped ten feet in the air spilling whatever she had in her lap all over the room.

"Jesus what did you do that for? And you're late." She gathered herself.

"Jesus didn't do it I did and thank you I know." She flipped me off and I played along. "You wound me Eve."

"Shane is working late today. Oh and I sent off your letters today." She said eating again.

"What letters?" I asked dumping my bag and sitting down next to her.

"The ones you left on the table. I thought you were in a hurry ad couldn't do it yourself and so I sent then off with the mail." I stared at her in horror.

"Eve you shouldn't have done that we need to get those back before they are sent out." She looked at me weird.

"Why what were they?" She stopped eating.

"They were letters to colleges." Her face paled under the white mask.

"Oh my god CB I'm so sorry there is no way for you to get them back. I'm sorry." She put her food down and gave me a look.

"They are going to start to send spotters, so Amelie will know something is up. Oh no." I put my head in my hands. Eve put her hand on my back and I sighed heavily.

"You'll be okay we can just tell Amelie, if she finds out, that it was an accident." I gave her a look through my fingers. "Yea you're right she'll figure it out." Michael walked in the door and called out.

"Honey I'm home." I looked up confused.

"Honey I'm home?" Eve shrugged.

"He's trying it out like they do in movies since we're married now." She giggled a little bit.

"In here." I replied. He walked in and sat down in the chair.

"Hey what happened?" He asked concern clouding his face.

"Eve sent out my college application letters and now they are going to send spotters to Morganville." I managed.

"Oh well that can't be good." I looked at him like really-I-wouldn't-have-guessed. He held up his hands in defense. "Okay okay I get it bad news. Maybe we can intercept the mail truck like some sort of awesome action movie." He joked. I gave a sarcastic laugh. "It was worth a shot." I leaned back on the couch and tried to think of a plan.

"Maybe they will be discrete. They won't make such a big statement." I looked at Eve shaking her head.

"That's one thing they aren't discrete. They want people to know who they are, what they represent, and who they are hunting. Like a bunch of piranhas." She snapped her jaws and I chuckled a little. Well that was not comforting. Now I just had to find away to make it through all of the spotters without running to Amelie.

**Thank you for reading I hope you liked it**


	2. Shrapnel

**Hello again I'm glad you liked me last chappy here comes round two**

Claire

It had been four days and still no sign of spotters. Uh maybe they really didn't want to investigate me. It was a little harsh. Amelie hadn't contacted me or even acted at all in the manor I had imagined. I walked into Common Grounds and Oliver looked exceptionally peeved today. Eve got the day off and so she was at home relaxing like she should. Oliver already had my order ready and when I walked up and paid him. I took my coffee and headed towards TPU. I was walking and of course my glee never did stay walking onto that campus. Monica ran into me and took her glasses off to bark at me.

"Hey preschool watch it!" She put her glasses on and expected me to move.

"You say that, but not only am I in more advanced classes, but I am working for one of the most intellectual vampires in this town." I replied taking a sip my confidence improving with each assault to my taste buds.

"Oh shut up! It's a figure of speech." She looked at me through her glasses.

"Since when the prehistoric age?" I gave a threatening smirk.

"Don't egg me on little bitch." Gina and Jennifer stepped out from behind her like body guards.

"Coming from the queen herself. I don't have time for you I have spotters to avoid." I speed walked away knowing she wouldn't follow, for in her eyes it would show I won. I paced up the steps of the Science building and threw away my cup. I trudge to my class and prepared to review my science skills because god knows I have already learned this.

Myrnin

"I said stay still." I shoved the last spotter into my closet and bared my fangs at him. I had to hold them until Amelie could somehow wipe the memory of Morganville and Claire's letters from their mind and the mind of the head human at the colleges. I locked the door and put the key in my pocket. I walked out of the room in which held the closet and was surprised to see Amelie there. She had said she wouldn't come by, but he knew that was probably a lie.

"Have you got the last one?" She asked coolly.

"No that was just the pizza guy." I had gotten very good at this sarcasm thing that Claire uses constantly. What was the saying? I learn from the best?

"Do not get snippy with me Myrnin. I still haven't found out who knows of this place and if more are to be sent." She sat down regally in my chair.

"Well that seems to be your problem isn't it? I did my job. Although…" I trialed off at the ridiculous idea.

"What tell me?" She snapped.

"You could send a few spotters of your own." I raised an eyebrow. She thought this over and a light started to glow in her eyes.

"I knew there was some underline reason I kept you around." She stood up and was gone. I didn't know if I was honored or offended. I just shrugged it off and I heard screaming come from the closet.

"Shut your traps you beasts!" I yelled and silence soon followed. Wow that felt good. Claire probably wouldn't find it as humorous as I, but she would appreciate the sentiment.

Claire

I yawned and walked out into the sun stained quad of TPU. I felt really good. I had aced all of my tests as per usual and was off to go hopefully, if I was successful in 'failing', blow up the foul device that Myrnin still had not found satisfactory in completion. We had used it on Oliver and it reacted opposite and put him into a rage leaving Myrnin and I to, well me, run for my life and only manage to get away because he was, surprise, royally angered at Myrnin. Thankfully though after that he crashed. Harder than I did off of vampire blood. So in a sense it did work….just not as we had hoped. I had no more encounters from Monica today, so that was always a plus. I hiked up my bag and trekked to the lab. It was seriously hot today, so sweat was beading down my neck when I made the last turn to the lab. I sighed when the shade developed around me and I wondered how it never had any sunlight no matter where the sun was positioned. I reminded myself to experiment that later. I walked in the lab and Myrnin was in the same place he had been every time she came for the past three days. In his chair reading the same book. I was beginning to wonder if his Alzheimer's was coming back or he just really liked that book. I put my bag down and the first thing he threw me was MF. I caught it and groaned. Fine. I sat down at the desk and began to work on it. I pulled out my notebook and began to read off the blueprint I had made earlier to remember what I had to do to make it blow up on 'accident'. I was almost ready to turn the last knob ending the despicable device when there was pounding and screaming coming from a back room.

"Myrnin? What was that?" I asked looking around. He was already gone. I got up and looked around. I could hear him talking from one of the rooms and I silently walked over there. Before I could open the door Myrnin was in my way shutting the door and looking at me. "What was that?"

"Nothing." He quickly locked the door and stood in my way.

"I know you are lying what was that?" I tried to look around him, but he crossed his arms and blocked any chance I had at opening that door.

"Nothing like I said before." He turned his head slightly to the side and I crossed my arms as well.

"Tell me." He scrunched up his face.

"I thought I was the boss. You don't tell me what to do." He made no indication of moving. I grumbled in frustration and threw my hands into the air in a grand gesture.

"Whatever! But if Amelie finds out you are hiding something she will I don't know condemn you to eat O positive for the rest of your vampire life." He made a face of disgust then smirked. "Don't give me that." I turned around and stalked to the table to finish working. I took a deep breath making the last 'adjustment' and there was a clicking my eyes widened and I lunged for the back of the couch. After a few seconds the entire thing imploded on itself and I heard pieces imbed themselves into the couch.

"Hey! What was that?" He must have taken cover for his voice was distant.

"Nothing!" I called playing the I'm-not-telling-you card that he played only minutes earlier. I peeked my head up over the couch to see he had done the same from behind a tipped table. The top of his head slightly smoking from a small piece of shrapnel. He was scowling and I hid back behind the couch.

"What did you do?" He called from across the room.

"I don't know!" I didn't move, but I heard him flash over. He looked over the back of the couch his shadow looming over me. "Uh hi." I waved my hand slowly and he grabbed it pulling me up. I squeaked unprepared and quickly silenced myself. I looked around. Wow it did more damaged then I thought. The table it was on was reduced to ash and everything in a two meter radius was destroyed to nothing. "Woah." I looked back up at him and he was still scowling.

"Yes woah you did that on purpose." Oops he caught on. I'm too smart to 'accidentally' blow something up.

"I told you I swore never to work on it again." I crossed my arms as I saw the memory pan across his face.

"Hmm. Well you didn't have to blow it up." He walked over and assessed the damage although he already knew how much damage there really was.

"Well I couldn't not work on it. As you had stated very clearly before." He turned around.

"I suppose when did you think of this?" I walked over to grab a broom.

"During class." I turned around and he was frowning. "What it's not like I don't know everything already." I began to sweep up the remains of the table. I was on my third walk back from the trash can – it was a big table and it looked as though I had quite a few more to go. "Hey ya mind helping."

"Uh yes as it is that you made the mess _you_ may clean it." He didn't even look from his book.

"Well if you hadn't made me for on the thing I wouldn't have wanted to blow it up." I leaned on the broom.

"And you still did so." He continued to read. I doubt he was even reading just giving a reason to not look at me. I scrunched up my face and stuck my tongue out at him.

"Be that way then." I furiously began to sweep and marched to the trash can. I repeated this until I was completely done. I coughed at the last remnants of ash and sneezed.

"Bless you." I heard him say and had the urge to flip him off.

"Oh so you can say that?" He looked at me oddly.

"Why couldn't I?"

"Because you are a vampire and I thought you would spontaneously combust." I sounded crestfallen. He rolled his eyes and threw the book behind him. "Really?" I walked over and picked what was left of it and put it away. "You spent all that time to read it and just threw it over your shoulder."

"Who said I was reading it?" He stood up and scowled at where the table used to be. "There is too much free space." He began to run around and look for something.

"Too much? I think we could finally put in that lounge chair you had wanted for so long." I stated sarcastically and he flashed around to flick the back of my head. "Ow! I was just saying you need the extra room. Would give us space to, wait for it, clean!" I yelled to empty air. He was running in all directions and I tried to follow, but I got dizzy and sat down in the chair. It felt odd knowing he was sitting in there for quite some time and it was still cold. I rest my arm on the arm rest and held up my head. I blinked and I heard the sound of a portal open. I looked and Amelie stepped through then stopped. She looked at me with an odd expression I couldn't identify and her lips moved, but I couldn't hear her. She must be talking to Myrnin. I closed my eyes briefly and when I opened them again Amelie was looking at me as though I had a secret and she was going to pry it from my thoughts if it was the last thing I ever did.

**Hey heres two I hope you liked it I will try to get the others up soon promise**


	3. Echopraxia

**Hi my readers I hope you liked the last one this is the second to last chappy so I hate to say that this is almost over *tear* but more stories to come **

Myrnin

"What do you mean you killed them?" I asked just barely above a whisper, but my anger obvious. "That wasn't the plan Amelie. We agreed they would only wipe their memories."

"I am the founder I choose the plans and our previous plan would have been a little more difficult. More people than expected knew about her." She replied in a harsh whisper.

"What are you going to do with the others?" I motioned with my thumb.

"I'll simply erase their memories." She waved a delicate hand.

"Oh darn I was hoping for some fresh blood." I snapped making sure to keep my voice clipped and quiet.

"Do not snap at me Myrnin. It is better this way." She glared at me.

"Oh yes because killing the twenty or so people who know of Claire and Morganville is so much harder than erasing their memories." I growled.

"Exactly I am glad to see you comprehend." I flashed in front of her.

"I still don't approve of this. I say we just use the machine. Every time we get more spotters they crash and forget and turn around saying that they had the wrong address. Or better yet we could have not sent out those letters to begin with. You do control the mailing system do you not Amelie?" She gave me a cold stare, but I ignored it. I looked at Claire. What if she really wanted to go? No she denied MIT to stay here with that boy. Of course she wouldn't leave now. She opened her eyes and I felt guilty for looking at her. She looked from me to Amelie. The color draining out of her face when she looked at Amelie. I myself looked at Amelie and Amelie looked like she had a plan. A plan I wasn't going to like.

"We could kill her." She said bluntly like it was something that happens every day. Well in Morganville it kind of was.

"What no! That won't solve anything. And I won't let you!" I said loud enough so Claire heard. I flashed in front of Claire to protect her. I was not going to let Amelie kill Claire if I could do anything to stop it. Amelie gave a cold reaction that looked like a laugh.

"Oh not really. We send out a letter saying she 'died' and they will stop coming. We would still have to erase the others memories." I stood in front of Claire still as she whispered the plan to me. "Although your human love for her made this all the better." I didn't say anything I only gave her an even stare.

"Myrnin what? What is she going to do?" She sounded scared and she grabbed my sleeve with a vice like grip.

"Nothing. You don't need to worry." I said softly looking over my shoulder to her. Her eyes were as big as saucers and I saw her shaking slightly.

"I'll leave you to write her obituary." Amelie gave a twisted sort of smirk before she left.

"Myrnin…" She trailed off her voice shaky. "What is she planning?" I sighed and turned around crouching down to her height.

"I can't tell you, but you are going to die." I held up a hand before she could interrupt. "But not really." She looked confused. "There are people after you and they will stop coming if they think you are dead." She nodded agreeing then jumped at me giving me a hug.

"Don't scare me like that again you bloodsucker." She gave a nervous laugh and squeezed tighter. I knew she didn't mean to be hurtful, so I hugged her back.

"I was just as confused as you, but I would never let anything happen to you. If I could stop it you better believe I'm going to." I smooth her frazzled hair and she pulled away. Her eyes were sparkling with tears and she gave me a broken smile. "With me you will always be cared for." I looked down as I said it afraid she would run. I heard her take in a breath and I knew what was coming next, so I began to get up. She surprised me by holding onto me and keeping me where I was.

"Myrnin I…" She choked. "I – I don't know how to – " I thought she was going to finish, but she put her lips to mine and I was so shocked I forgot what to do next. She poured all of her emotions into that kiss. Worry, shock, thanks, and, and the one that made me retaliate, love. I pushed forward so that her back was to the chair and I had each hand on the arm rest pinning her without really forcing her to stay. She sat up so that way she was even with me and she tucked her legs underneath her, so that I had room to creep on the chair. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. One of my hands ghosted the delicate skin of her back and she moaned slightly. It was just getting passionate when a voice echoed through the tension filled air.

"Help! Someone please! A madman locked us in a closet! Help!" I looked at the back of the chair. Oh no.

"Myrnin who was that?"Claire looked at me suspiciously.

"Nothing." I said too quickly and darted off. I went to the closet looking for the key and patted myself down. Where was it where was it? Oh no I –

"You looking for something?" A sound filled the air and I turned around slowly.

"Help! Please we hear you help!" A new voice yelled out.

"Oh yea I need those." I flashed towards her and grabbed them unlocking the closet quickly. "Quiet you fools you will be dealt with later. As soon as – "

"Myrnin what the hell!?" Claire was looking over my shoulder as best she could. "Let them out! Now." She demanded and I shook my head.

"No I have direct commands from Amelie. I can't." I looked over my shoulder at her.

"At least tell me who they are." I was going to answer when a voice piped up terrified.

"I am Arthur Batcher from MIT." He shook in terror.

"And I am Gordan Capell from the University of North Carolina." He drawl was chattering and they all tried to shy away from me.

"Wait are you looking for - Myrnin are they – You stole my spotters!?" The questions varied and I closed the door despite yells of protest.

"Well…" I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Speak." She commanded.

"I should take you to Amelie." I grabbed her hand and walked to the portal. I opened it up to Amelie's office and we stepped through. She let go of my hand and tramped through her office.

"You have taken my spotters? Why didn't you just intercept the mail like a normal vampire who found something interesting portraying to one of the most valuable humans leaving!" Her voice rose and I liked this side of Claire. Too bad Amelie didn't.

"Do not speak to a superior in such a manner Claire. Know your place." She snapped like a whip and some of Claire's anger deflated. "And I thought you were to right her obituary?" She looked over at me and I scratched the back of my head.

"Ah yes I was getting around to it." I put my hand down.

"What do you mean what happened? How did she find out?" Her questions were coming as fast as Claire's when she found out and I almost pulled my hair out.

"I mean I was busy. We were….working." I looked at the ground sideways to try and think of something convincing. "Uh they kinda started to yell and then she got the keys."

"How did she manage to get the keys?" She stood up.

"If I knew I would have gotten them from her now wouldn't I?" I snapped.

"Wait you knew about this and you didn't tell me?" Her voice was a screech. "You hid spotters from some of the greatest schools in America and you **hid **them in Myrnin's _**closet**_! What is wrong with you?" She said the last part in a high tone.

"Well yes. It was for your own good." Amelie said oddly calm.

"Well yes it was for your own good." She mocked boldly. "But not theirs. Who knows what in that closet they don't deserve that." She waved a hand behind her in the general direction of where we had just come. "You need to release them." She said calming down.

"As soon as Myrnin finishes writing your obituary." She waved an absent hand at me and Claire calmed down then jolted up.

"They won't be killed will they?" Amelie looked at her with an impassive expression.

"No of course not they will simply have their memories swiped and they will all think they got lost and got turned around. No one will be harmed." I snorted. She shot me a glare silencing me. I raised my hands in defense.

"Come on Claire I want to get the best information for your death." I waved a hand and after a seconds hesitation looking at Amelie she stormed back over to where I had opened a portal and stepped through.

**Hi I hoped you liked it sorry it took so long there has been a storm brewing (literally a big one) and my internet is being dumb**


	4. Courage the Cowardly Dog

**Yes I finally got it up after trial and many many errors it is updated I am so glad to finally be done wait that came out wrong you know what I mean don't you well anyways I have many many hilarious fics to come especially this next one ;) since I did all Myrnin last time is Claire's turn**

Claire

I headed straight for his closet and flung it open. They all looked terrified then relieved.

"I am very sorry for the inconvenience now if you all would be so kind as to stepping out of the cramped closet it would be best for us all." I said in my most sincere stewardess voice. Fake smile and all. They all began to shakily walk out of the medium sized closet. I counted as they climbed out. One, two, three, four, five, six, okay this was getting out of hand, seven, and eight. Eight of them. In **one** closet. They didn't get far, for Myrnin was close by and they all began to shake again. "Myrnin do as you must." I said walking away.

"No no please don't kill us!" They all screamed haphazardly. I looked behind me.

"Why would we kill you?" I continued to walk and Myrnin set out to erasing their memories. He came out minutes later with a scowl on my face.

"I still have to write your obituary." I sighed.

"What did you do with them?" I put a hand on my hip.

"Sent them to Amelie of course." He gave a___duh_ look. I sat down and waited for his questions to come. "Where were you born?"

"Roseburg, Oregon." I closed my eyes. I heard him scrawling on the paper.

"What year?"

"1995." More scrawling.

"Occupation?" I thought that was odd.

"Just put college student." Scrawling.

"How do you want to die?" Was it odd I got a giddy feeling?

"Murder. Snake bite into a major artery." He looked at me and I smirked.

"Clever." He said sarcastically, but wrote it anyways.

"Oh oh murderer still at large. Myrnin blah." I chuckled. He rolled his eyes.

"How about jealous boyfriend?" He smirked back. It was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Vengeful boss." I retaliated. He pointed his penish thing at me and wagged it.

"Ha keep it up and I'll have you feeding Bob for the next month." I shuddered.

"Freak accident where the holder threw the snake at me." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Or you went on vacation to Germany, and got radiation poisoning." He shrugged and I laughed harder. Morbid a little? Yup and that was cool with me.

"Chernobyl diaries. What if I went spelunking and my parachute was defective?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Change of heart much?" I shrugged and laughed some more.

"Who says I'm not a little adventurous?" He gave me a look. "Ok you're right. What about experiment gone wrong. That happens frequently with you." He looked up. Then looked at me. I gave a _what_ look and he began to write again. "What are you writing?" I walked over and he stood up, so I couldn't see. "Hey." I jumped up and tried to see what was on the paper. "Hey!" I tried to grab it from him, but he moved to the other side of the room feverishly writing. "Myrnin I will not allow that to be false advertising. I want to know how I died." He gave a sly smirk and continued to write. I scoffed and stalked over to him. He lifted it above my reach and I gave a cry of protest.

"I'm not done." He did a little flourish with his penish thing. I honestly did not know what to call it. He had a smug look and gave it to me.

"Finally." I yanked it out of his hand and began to read it.

_Claire Danvers had perished at the young age of 17. After a fatal accident involving saving orphans she was burned severely and admitted into a nearby hospital. The burns were so severe she later died from her injuries. All of the orphans opened up a new orphanage called 'Danvers Home'. A plaque resides outside of the new building proclaiming their ever gratefulness to the late Claire Danvers._

I snorted when I finished and he looked a little hurt. "Really? _Orphans_? That sounds oh I don't know like a bit of a cliché."

"It sounds better than eaten by a snake." He crossed his arms and I grabbed his writing utensil.

"I said **bit** by a snake not _eaten_ **bit**." I began to scribble out what he had written.

"Hey." He tried to intercept my idea and failed epically. I turned last second and he missed losing his balance tripping over his own feet and falling flat on his face. I laughed and tried to write, but I couldn't see straight from the tears in my eyes. Once I managed to see again I kept on writing. He stayed on the floor. I think he was too embarrassed. I gathered my breath and finished.

"There. Much better." He got up now and swiped it from my hands reading it.

_Claire Danvers was a valued student at TPU. She was just recently taken on a field trip cross country to New York and whilst walking caught in a drive by shooting and took four shots to the chest. She was brought back home for a private funeral of close friends and family. Let her eternal soul be blessed and may she rest in peace._

"Blagh." He made a face that made me laugh and I gave him the utensil. "That will not do. What is a 'drive by shooting'?" He scribbled out my attempt.

"It's when there are people in a car and they start firing outside the windows." I mimicked holding a gun and pretended to fire around the room making sound effects.

"Oh." He began to work on his second trial. I grabbed us each a chair and sat down in one. He eventually, without looking or stop writing, he did as well. He made another flourish with the pen thingy and handed it and the paper over.

_The young Claire Danvers has passed today. She was walking in the rural land of her college town Texas when she was jumped by a pack of coyotes and died from her injuries. And rabies._

I gave him a look. He snapped his jaws like Eve had done just a few days ago. Only he added to the effect with extra teeth. "Really rabies?" I made a disapproving noise and scribbled his out. I tapped the top of the pen to my lips and thought of something. I began to write. After a cramp inducing session of writing I think I finally had it. I handed both the pen thingy and the paper over and he looked it over.

_Claire Danvers at the young and vivacious age of 17 has passed due to leukemia. She battled for eight months before the cancer consumed her. Her mind dwindled to nothing after the sessions and sessions of chemotherapy and radiology. Her close friends and family held a private funeral to honor her wishes. She will forever be remembered as the girl who fought. RIP Claire Danvers._

He nodded clearly impressed. "I like the blood cancer. Very ironic." He took that over and merged the first part with the final draft. I sat next to him as he wrote to make sure he didn't change anything and got it all correct. He finished and handed me the paper.

"What am I supposed to do with it?" I asked holding it out to inspect it further. He rolled his eyes.

"To type and make it look professional of course. You also have to send them to the head masters at the colleges via eletters. That I am unable to do." He said bluntly.

"It's email. Okay do you have som- "

"Ah yes of course." He flashed off and returned with an actual modern day laptop. I was shocked.

"Who did you steal this from?" He pretended to look hurt.

"I actually bought this. Well Amelie bought it for me, but that's beside the point I didn't steal it." He walked over and handed it to me. I graciously took it and started it up. Thankfully there wasn't any password or we would never get it up. As it loaded there was a funny little picture in the back ground. _Vampires are supposed to suck blood not dick. _It had a picture of Edward above it.

"Woah Myrnin? Where did this come from?" I couldn't help, but laugh though. He blinked a few times.

"I agree though despite its foul language." I gave him a look glad he agreed on one thing about his race. I opened up the internet to find we didn't have any. I looked back at him. "Just use my neighbors." He waved his hand nonchalantly and I shrugged.

"Okay." I set it up and racked my brains for all of the colleges I was going to send letters out to. I opened a tab for each of them. I began to type as though my undead life depended on it. Well I was just pretending to be dead. As soon as I was done I ctrl v'ed and pasted it to the other seven. Myrnin mesmerized over my shoulder. "Myrnin stop drooling on my shoulder." He looked down at my shoulder and scowled at me.

"I am doing no such thing." He replied although he brushed off my shoulder anyways. I chuckled and finished sending the last one.

"There I am unofficially dead." I spun around in the chair and was greeted with a very close face.

"So am I, I suppose." He replied. His eyes flicking to my lips so fast I almost miss it. Every rational voice in my mind is screaming _Boyfriend. Boyfriend! __**Boyfriend! **_But frankly all I heard was _Hey remember that one time when you kissed your boss and you liked it? We do. _I looked in his eyes for any hint of rejection. I wasn't too shocked to see there wasn't any. I blinked slowly and in that instant I felt the cool sensation of his lips on mine. I tentatively raised a hand to ghost my fingers across his cheek. I felt his hand slither across my waist and pull closer to him. I was afraid I was going to fall only to know for a fact he was never going to let that happen. I snaked my other hand through his hair and felt the silky smooth impression of his hair curling through my fingers. Somehow during the exchange we had switched positions mostly. He was now sitting on the chair and I on his lap. I had to break away or I was going to pass out. He looked into my eyes with that seductive smirk and I felt my heart skip a few beats. I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him to me again. And so began the love triangle that changed Morganville, but hey it _was_ Morganville after all. A lot of crazy stuff happens in the middle of nowhere.

**I hope it was everything you hoped for Mercy I hope someone picked up my Courage the Cowardly Dog reference somewhere in there if not LOOK CLOSELY hate to end but this just means I can give you more of what you want without boring you with the SAME plot line and the SAME old fanfiction over and over again thank you for reading this has been Z3M have a good day (next on is tracklist don't get excited)**


	5. Tracklist

Beekeeper's Daughter – All American Rejects  
Dirty Little Secret – All American Rejects  
What The Hell – Avril Lavigne  
The Time (Dirty Bit) – Black Eyed Peas  
(You Drive me) Crazy (Stop Remix) – Britney Spears  
Caramelldansen – Caramell  
Good Girls Go Bad –Cobra Starship  
Stereo Love – Edward Maya  
Whistle – Flo rida  
Ridin' Solo – Jason DeRulo  
Crush – Jenifer Page  
Your Love Is My Drug – Ke$ha  
She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5  
Hell Yeah – Montgomery Gentry  
Bad Influence – P!nk


End file.
